Waiting For You For So Long

My Love…
You were in boyhood dreams. As a teenager I imagined you until you seemed real. Long before we saw each other for the first time, I met you in the fantasies of a man. I’ve been waiting for you for so long…

From “The History of Love: A Novel ” by Nicole Krauss
girl and boyMaybe the first time
you saw her you were ten.
She was standing
in the sun scratching her legs.
Or tracing letters
in the dirt with a stick.
Her hair was being pulled.
Or she was
pulling someone’s hair.
And a part of you
was drawn to her,
and a part of you resisted–
wanting to ride off
on your bicycle,
kick a stone,
remain uncomplicated.
In the same breath you felt
the strength of a man,
and a self-pity that made you
feel small and hurt.
Part of you thought:
Please don’t look at me.
If you don’t,
I can still turn away.
And part of you thought:
Look at me.