Since June 30, 2011 I have mourned openly here for 123 days over a love lost that is has been so hard to let go of. It has been over 5 years since she and I went our separate ways. It is time for me to let go and move on. Some of my hesitance has been due to guilt and blame I place on myself, especially knowing in majority I was the reason we are no longer together. But I am at peace with all that now. Writing here well over a hundred days in a row ended up being the tonic that healed me. It is time for the past to be past. October 31, 2011 seems like a very good date for that to be true.
I have met someone I have been seeing for a while. I am a hapless romantic with new hopes and dreams. Tomorrow I begin here to write about possibilities and “might-happen’s” . My heart is finally open again
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
…how much you loved the little kids coming to our door when they were trick or treating on Halloween. The way you were so very sweet and kind to them is a special memory.
New American Standard Bible – 1 Corinthians 13:4
Love is patient,
Love is kind
Is not jealous;
Love does not brag
Is not arrogant.
…a few weeks after we met I flew home and you picked me up at the airport. We spent the night in bed holding each other; something I found far more meaningful than sex.
By Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald, novelist & wife of writer F. Scott Fitzgerald
…the pair of little pink and blue blown glass angels with a tiny red heart inside each one you bought for us. You broke them, but I still have all the pieces with the two hearts stored away safely.
“Thoughts” by Helen Rebibis Ramos
Do I still enter the avenue of your yesterday
…where we kissed on the boulevard of broken dreams?
Do you still call my name silently
…in the corners of your mind?
Can you still paint my face in the crossroads of today?
In spite of the long and winding road to Oblivion…
You are to me beyond all my heart can hold.
You are silently beyond forgetting.
…touching your breast through your clothes as we kissed long and passionately in an elevator where I worked. What sweet naughty fun we had.
From “I Wonder If She Knew” by David L. Weatherford
Did she know I loved her profoundly and unconditionally, not just for her loveliness, sexiness, or intelligence
(all of which I adored),
but more for the grace and goodness that defined her essence to me;
and that I marveled at how animals, children, and adults (young and old)
were drawn to her gentle warmth like flowers to the morning sun?
…sometimes in bed we’d spoon with your back against my chest. I’d put my arm around you and you’d hold my hand while we went to sleep. What a contented feeling that was.
From “Terra Incognizant” by Prometheus
You would think by now,
I would know my way around,
I shouldn’t miss you so badly,
I should be on familiar ground.
How many more lonely years,
Must meander by,
Until I learn the lesson,
It does no good to cry.
…that one year at Christmas some of my presents were lingerie that included you wearing it all later for me.
Harry Burns to Sally Albright in the movie “When Harry Met Sally”
I love that after I spend a day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
… speaking in front of a large group and glancing at you in the audience to see the admiring way you were looking at me. I would give most anything to be seen in your eyes like that again.
Elizabeth Barrett to Robert Browning, April 29, 1846
if dreaming of me
should be good for making you love me,
let me be dreamt of…
go on to dream of me:
and love me, my beloved…
because the love returns to you,
all of it …
waves to the sea….
…how you liked to walk on my left side and put your arm through my arm. I was always proud to have you there.
A Traditional Poem of Love – Writer Unknown
As long as you love me,
I’ll stay by your side,
I’ll be your companion
Your friend and your guide.
As long as you love me,
As long as you care,
I’ll do anything for you
I’ll go anywhere.
I’ll bring you sunshine,
I’ll comfort your fears,
I’ll gather up rainbows,
To chase all your tears.
As long as forever,
My love will be true,
For as long as you love me,
I’ll only love you.
…going to see “Stomp” in San Francisco and spending half a day wandering Chinatown. What a wonderful time we had on that trip.
is not what hurts.
who they used to be.